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Nancy Sinatra - Bang, Bang |
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I just finished my third bp of the day. Oh... did I mention the "plan" Mellie and I started is off? Yea, well, it's off like a slutty high school cheerleaders spanky pants. Let's call it what it was people, a diet, and I will always fuck up a diet. I'm bulimic, it's what I do. So, yea, I am back to my old ways. My purges today have been great, thank the bulimia gods. On the last one I got one of those honkin' globs of goo that's like a mixture of mucus, stomach bile and blood - mmm, mmm. It's always bitter-sweet to see those because it's like, "yayy, I'm empty," but of course that just means you are gonna be hungry again in ten minutes. Meh. At least I got all that shit out. And just for shits and giggles, here's what I had today:
3 corn dogs pudding **PURGED** jelly beans 7 chicken strips french fries toast **PURGED** BBQ chips (soo nasty to puke) coco crispies w/ banana pudding **PURGED**
And to top it all off, I did all that with everyone home today. The last time I purged in the shower and when I went to dump it - ok, back up, lemme explain how I purge cause it'll just make this story easier, plus, this is my god damn journal and I'll write about what I want! Ok, so, a long time ago when I used to purge in the toilet and the water splashed me in the face and got in my eyes and, yea, it just wasn't pretty, I somehow came across this little container and thought, "hmm, jackpot" and have puked in him ever since - he's affectionately been named Charlie Bukkit. So anytime I purge, in the shower or not, I always use Charlie and Willy (my toothbrush - well, the one I use to purge with anyhow. I don't use it to brush my teeth - that ones name in Paul) and when I am done I just dump it in the toilet and ker-flush. Now, after all these years, I have developed the perfect timing of when to dump Charlie's contents mid-flush so that nothing gets left behind to float around and incriminate me. So after my last purge tonight I was about to dump it and I could just tell something was funky with the the way the toilet was flushing, so I couldn't dump it and I knew a second flush would draw too much attention, so now Charlie is sitting here in my room. Full. Haha, who says bulimia isn't glamorous?? Anyhow. I still weigh 145 which is unacceptable. Even after all my purges today it never went down, which sucks. But I've just started back to purging, so I'm sure in the next couple days I'll lose. I better anyhow, or I'm liable to have a freak out.
Alright, that's enough. I gotta go do my ab workout and suck on some cough drops cause my throat is on fire.
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